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Feb. 22, 2011 was National Margarita Day.  I find that a little funny considering that it was also the day of Glee's alcohol-themed episode.  Now, every so often Glee laces a little PSA into their episodes.  This season alone they've touched upon the issues of healthy eating and bullying.  This episode, however, makes it the first time that the PSA is the theme of the episode.  I suppose an argument could be made that Ep. 2x08 "Furt" centered around bullying, but the wedding/Finn subplot prevented it from becoming a complete bullying-themed episode IMO.  This one was full throttle with the alkie, and it was glorious.  After all, being drunk yourself?  Not so much fun (esp. the next day).  But watching drunk people?  Always, and I mean always fun.

Glee-cap: Episode 2x14 - "Blame It on the Alcohol"

*Note: screencaps for this episode are courtesy of - who else - waxandstrings.

We begin this episode with Mr. Schue, who's been summoned to Principal Figgins' office.  Ruh-oh.  I'm jk.  Mr. Schue's not in trouble...yet.  Figgins is concerned about an epidemic that's spreading through the halls of McKinley.  Will immediately asks, "Head lice?" which is probably his worst fear.  Nope, Will's lustrous hair is safe.  The problem is "giggle juice", aka "the wet devil", aka alcohol.  Turns out the kids at McKinley are coming to school hammered, as a student demonstrates by lifting his shirt and pressing his totally un-abulous body against the window to Figgins' office.  Personally, I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't come up sooner, b/c correct me if I'm wrong, but Lima, Ohio is a small, rural town and from what I've been told about small, rural towns, there's not much for the kids to do other than drink...and go cow tipping.  Anyway, Figgins thinks they're having a drinking epidemic b/c of all the alkie beverages targeted to kids and the plethora of pop music that glorifies drinking.

Principal Figgins: Just listen to any hit by pop sensation Ke-dollar sign-ha.
Will: You mean Ke$ha.

Principal Figgins just scored major points of awesomeness with that line.  He decides to make this week at McKinley "Alcohol Awareness Week".  He's holding an assembly with Kitty Dukakis as the guest speaker and wants the Glee Club to perform a song about the dangers of teen drinking.  Will agrees.

Later, Will approaches Emma in the faculty lounge and says he wants to be friends again.  He even brought her a wedding present: a toaster.  I know Mr. Schue sucks at giving gifts, but could he seriously not think of anything better to get than a toaster.  Oh wait.  It's a "two slicer".  Yeah...that makes it a whole lot better.  Emma asks how he's been, but when Will starts sharing about Glee Club, she tells him she wants to know what's going on in his life...like if he's he dating anyone.  When Will says he isn't, Emma suggests that he should.  I'm not sure I like the fact that she's pushing him, considering she was was in the exact same position a year ago.  Before Will can respond, Sue interrupts and says she thinks Will should focus on his treatment.  Basically, Sue thinks Will is bound to become an alcoholic given that he's got nothing going for him in life.

Sue: You're coaching the Glee Club that can only beat choirs of old people.  You're rehashing the details of your failed marriage with the very lemur who rejected the bestial horror of your craven sexual advances.  And when my Glee Club crushes you at Regionals, well, the last ounce of meaning will drain from your life an you will turn to drink.

When she says it like that, it makes me want to have a drink.  Thankfully, Will was silently mocking her, so it's nice to know she hasn't gotten to him...yet.  Emma asks the question I'm sure the audience is dying to know: how did Sue end up as the coach for Aural Intensity?  "Unfortunately, the chipper homosexual who coaches Aural Intensity had a terrible fall down the stairs."  And by "terrible fall" Sue means she pushed him.  Twice.  Now, given the fact that gay bullying is still an issue - and still a Glee issue - I'd like to think she was exaggerating with her story b/c she's Sue, but regardless, they needed a new coach and she was able to get the job b/c of her championship record.  Sue hands Will a book about the 12 steps to AA, stating that she'll be waiting for him at the top of those steps to push him back down.  I'm starting to think it was not a good idea to take the Unholy Trinity away from Sue's Cheerios.

In the choir room, Puck approaches his "hot little Jewish-American princess" - that would be Rachel in case you were wondering - b/c he heard that Rachel's dads were out of town, leaving her home alone.  Rachel says they're on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise, which has me confused b/c I thought that was a family cruise.

Anyway, Puck wants to throw a party at Rachel's house...just for the Gleeks to relieve some of their stress over Sectionals Regionals.  Rachel refuses, stating that her fathers left her alone b/c they trust her.  Puck calls her a bore before walking away as Finn enters.

Rachel asked Finn (and Brad the piano player) to stop by so that he can listen to the song she's been writing.  *Random thought: does Brad teach/work at the school, or does he just wander around until the Gleeks need his services?*  They share an awkward hug "to break the tension", and the smile Finn has during the hug makes me like him for the first time in a long time.  The strong, yet pained smile Rachel has during the hug, however, makes me a bit sad.

Rachel knows they have some unresolved issues, but she's taking a page from two of her new idols, Carole King and Gerry Goffin.  For those of you who don't know (and Finn who definitely doesn't know), Carole King and Gerry Goffin are successful songwriting artists who continued to work together even after their divorce.

What happens next might possibly be the most cracktastic thing to ever happen on Glee.  Rachel debuts a rough cut of the song she wrote, and I'm going to give you the lyrics b/c you really have to see it (and hear it) to understand what's going on.
There you rest/With all the rest/Of my accessories/On my nightstand
You're red or yellow/And like a good fellow/Sometimes you get lost in my mess
But when school girl pigtails won't do/And I need to control my 'do
You're the only one I can count on/My headband/You're my headband
Wrapped right around my melon/You're a product like Magellan...

That's right.  Rachel Berry wrote a song called "My Headband" about her headband.  The reaction Finn experiences while listening to the song is the same one I went through.  I found it so hilarious, I rewound it and watched it at least five times.  It's now my go-to "I need a laugh" song.  What possessed Rachel to write a song about her headband?  "They say you should write about what you know."  I hope Rachel puts out an entire album called Accessories about all of her accessories.  For once, Finn tries let her down easy by saying "it's really interesting, but it's not emotional, or...like, good."  Rachel is bummed and doesn't know how she can write a song given that she's never lived, so Finn tells her to live a little.  Rachel realizes that he's right.  After all, they're supposed to sing a song at the assembly about drinking and she's never even had one.  Finn muses that's probably why he never got past second base, and that comment made him lose whatever progress he just made with me.  Rachel takes off to go find Puck - she's decided to throw a party at her house.

That awesome scene is followed up by another awesome one.  Our Gleeks are on the phone talking about Rachel's party, which gives us split-screen phone calls that we haven't seen since Ep. 1x13 "Sectionals".

Mercedes: *to Brittana* You're going right?
Santana: Only if there's liquor.  Because a Rachel Berry party is not something I can do sober.
Brittany: But it's Alcohol Awareness Week.
Santana: Precisely, and I am aware of how much fun alcohol is.  Let's ask Puckerman.
Puck: You're go for Puck.
Santana: Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes.  Can your friend score us some wine coolers?
Puck: No, but his ID can.
Mercedes: Oh, if we're all in, it's settled.  The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza is officially a go.

So many awesome things went on in that conversation: Santana's awareness of how much fun alcohol is, the use of "Santittany" and "Artcedes", the fact that Santana called Puck Noah, and Mercedes' title for Rachel's party.  The awesomeness of this episode keeps going as our next scene brings us to "The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza".  The party is being held in Rachel's basement, which her dads have converted into a place to hold Oscar parties, complete with a stage.  But first, I'd like to point out the disturbing painting her fathers have in the stairway leading down to the basement:

If you didn't understand before why Rachel is a diva, you should now - her fathers have a painting of her.  Rachel is escorting Finn in, who's brought Kurt and Harry Potter with him to the party.  Apparently Kurt's been blackmailing Finn after seeing his browser history.  No good images are going through my head right now, so we'll move right along.  Harry assures Rachel that he's not there as a Warbler and he's out of uniform to prove it.  Kurt, on the other hand, looks like he's attending a costume party as a member of the SS.  Also, I don't know what the hell Rachel is wearing, but it looks like a nightgown.  Even her animal sweaters would have been better suited for the occasion.

When Rachel sees Quinn, she says, "Hey girlfriend!  Having fun?" to which Quinn replies, "Rachel!  We're supposed to be keeping our relationship on the down low!"  I'm just kidding, although I bet that's how Faberry fan-fic authors re-wrote this scene.  Quinn simply says, "Yeah...awesome party."  Rachel distributes two drink tickets to everyone for their wine coolers, which are the drink of the night.  It's pretty clear the party is a bust, as Bartie and Asian Fusion start to take off.  Rachel panics b/c she hasn't even had a drink yet, and Puck tells her that she has to let him break into her dads' liquor cabinet b/c "no one's gonna to get buzzed off two wine coolers."  Ummm...Quinn might.  Rachel thinks about it for a second before shouting, "Let's party!"  And then things get even more awesome as our Gleeks party it up with Far*East Movement's "Like a G6" (Ft. Cataracs & Dev) bumping in the background.

Observations: Other Asian is hardcore, taking his shot straight from the bottle, and Brittana fans are probably praising the Cheesy Lord for that shot of Santana licking salt off of Brittany's abs.

Rachel, who is clearly gone, finishes chugging her wine cooler before delivering one of the best lines of this episode:

Rachel: It tastes like pink.  IT TASTES LIKE PINK!

I can't...that scene...it was perfect.  Hahaha.  Drunk!Rachel is awesome.  The only two sober people seem to be Furt.  Finn's the DD and Kurt is trying to impress Harry, which he thinks would be more effective sober rather than drunk.  Unfortunately for him, Harry is trashed.  Harry comes up to them and says he thinks it's cool that Finn and Kurt are bros and that Finn's "so...tall".  Drunk!Rachel gets touchy-feely with Finn, who explains to Rachel the archetypes that people fall into while drunk.

Santana - the weepy, hysterical drunk:

Santana: You like her more than me!  She's blonde and awesome and so smart.  Admit it!  Just admit it!  Now kiss me!

Lauren and Quinn - the angry girl drunks:

Quinn: I can't believe what you did to my body!  I used to have abs!
Lauren: Who told you that hairstyle was cool?  Geronimo?

Brittany - the girl-who-turns-into-a-stripper drunk:

Mercedes and Tina - happy girl drunks:

And Rachel Berry - the needy girl drunk:

Finn: Hanging all over me, being all lovely, it's not cool.

Way to kill Rachel's buzz, Finn!  Okay, so he's got a point, but still.  Rachel immediately gets up and suggests a game of spin the bottle.  During the game, Sam and Brittany kiss, and Santana no le gusta.  No seriously, she says so.

Santana: You know what?  A reminder.  I owns that guppy mouth.  Those trouty Aerosmith lips belong to me, so...*they kiss*  You know what?  This is not...Hey honeys, this is not a Big Red commercial.  No me gusta!

That kiss seems to have sobered Quinn up, b/c she also doesn't like it, but simply looks sad instead of saying anything about it.  Rachel's up next and her spin lands on Harry Potter, or "Blaine Warbler" as she calls him.  Everyone, including Kurt, thinks it's hysterical - and I'd like to point out that Josie Cotton's "Johnny Are You Queer?" is playing in the background during this scene, which is perfect - until they do kiss and both seem to enjoy it.  And I mean enjoy it.  By the expression on Kurt's face, I'm betting he wishes he were drunk right now.

When they pull apart, the awesome comments that flow from drunk!Rachel continue, as she says...

Rachel: Your face...tastes awesome.  I think I just found a new duet partner!

Kurt looks horrified, but Harry and Rachel take the stage to perform The Human League's "Don't You Want Me".

I knew this would be a good performance for one reason: facial expressions.  Darren Criss' performance facial expressions?  Hilarious.  Lea Michele's performance facial expressions?  Pure win.  Darren's performance facial expressions + Lea's performance facial expressions?  Most. Awesome. Thing. Ever.  It doesn't hurt that vocally they really do compliment each other well.  Here's the thing though.  Thanks to Chips Ahoy, "Don't You Want Me" reminds me of this commercial.  And now thanks to Glee, I think of Rachel and Harry as chocolate chip cookies singing this song.  *shakes head*  Getting back to the show, what was interesting was watching the other Gleeks during the performance, like how Finn was watching Quinn, who was watching Samtana make out.  Or watching the increasing amount of concern on Kurt's face as the performance went on.  Or watching Mercedes and Puck sing along.  Or the fact that Puck's wearing Lauren's glasses and Brittany's wearing Artie's.  I'm telling you, watching drunk people is always fun and this scene proves it.

The next day, Mr. Hummel is making his way up to Kurt's room (he's moved out of the basement), where he finds a figure in Kurt's bed and assumes it's Kurt.  Only, it's not.  It's Harry Potter.  Mr. Hummel is too shocked to really do anything other than leave.  The following Monday at school, our Gleeks are still hungover.

Other Asian: I told my mom I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea made out of...panda hair.

I would say that he's kidding, but given how crazy Asian home remedies can be, I wouldn't doubt that such a thing exists.  Artie brought Bloody Marys to help with their hangover.

Artie: Hair of the dog that done bit yo ass.

Seriously, this episode keeps getting better and better.  As they make their way through school, our Gleeks bust into a performance of Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" (Ft. T-Pain).

I call this song the "Alcoholics' Anthem", b/c it promotes the consumption of alcohol, but I can't deny that it is a smooth song.  I actually prefer Glee's version over the original, partially b/c I'm not a big fan of autotune, but also b/c the harmonies between Kevin, Amber, Mark and Naya were really good.  I especially liked Mark Salling's vocals on this number.  I wonder, though, if our Gleeks learned a bit of magic from Harry Potter b/c Rachel, Lauren and Finn seemed to apparate out of nowhere.  The camera work on this performance was nice - it helped enhance the fact that our Gleeks are tipsy.  Also, I really hope the funds for this rehearsal came from the "Alcohol Awareness" budget and not the Glee Club budget, or they might not make it to Regionals.

Mr. Schue liked their performance, particularly their acting, b/c he believed some of them were truly drunk.  "We take our craft seriously," Artie replies.  Mr. Schue does point out that they can't use the song at the assembly though, b/c it glorifies alcohol.  They're supposed to be looking for a song that talks about the dangers of alcohol.  Drunk!Rachel steps in with more of her drunk wisdom.

Rachel: Mr. Schue, first of all, that vest is very cute.  You are all kinds of awesome.  But second, maybe there's really no songs about the dangers of drinking, because there's really none as long as you have a proper designated driver.  *to Other Asian*  Have I ever told you how great you are?

Hahaha.  Drunk!Rachel is most definitely touchy-feely, and Tina grabs her bf before Rachel can feel him and his SituAsian up anymore.  Mr. Schue tries to educate his Gleeks about the dangers of alcohol, like alcohol poisoning, when weepy!Santana makes an appearance.  Quinn calls Mr. Schue a hypocrite, stating that like most adults, he drinks.  Mr. Schue says he might have beer now and then, but he doesn't get drunk.  Puck says it's a waste of time - they see alcohol as nothing but fun.  After all, they see adults drinking and having fun, and commercials, esp. for sporting events like NASCAR, are littered with alcohol ads.  The Gleeks have a point.  How can we expect kids to refrain from drinking when we, as adults, glorify it so much?  I find it a little funny that we have ratings for television shows to protect kids from what they see on tv, but there's no ratings for a football or baseball game even though people of all ages watch those games and they show a lot of commercials promoting alcohol.  I'm not saying we should assign ratings to sporting events, I'm just saying that we're not always consistent in censoring the material we try to protect kids from.

Mr. Schue dismisses the Gleeks, but later while having lunch with Coach Beiste he wonders if he's out of touch.  After all, he drank a lot when he was in high school - "mainly it was to deal with Terri", which explains so much about why their marriage didn't work and why they probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place - and "[he] turned out okay".  Ummm...I say that remains to be seen.  Coach Beiste can sense there's something more to Will's worries, and he confesses that his life pretty much sucks.  To help Will get some stress relief, Coach Beiste tells him he's going with her to "Rosalita's Roadhouse", a honky tonk bar.  After all...

Coach Beiste: You ain't lived 'til you've seen me in a cowboy hat!

I'm not a big fan of country music or honky tonk bars, but I love Coach Beiste.  Also, I think she might eat more than my bestie - she brought a whole chicken for lunch.  A whole chicken!

Rachel is in her room listening to Carole King's "So Far Away", while drinking some more.  She takes her bedazzled old-school telephone and dials Harry Potter, who's with Kurt at The Lima Bean, where Kurt is making fun of how drunk Harry got the other night.  *Side note: I love that Rachel has some old school stuff, like a record player and a phone with a chord.*  Some people thought  Rachel was drunk dialing Harry, but from the look on her face, I'm going to say she was merely getting some liquid courage to make the call.

Rachel flirts with Harry a little before asking him out.  Kurt gets a good laugh until he realizes that Harry said yes, and that he's not leading Rachel on.  Harry says it felt good when he kissed Rachel and doesn't see the harm on going on "one crummy little date".  Kurt remind Harry that he's gay, but Harry points out he's never even had a boyfriend, so maybe he's not as sure about his sexuality as he thought he was.  Harry thinks he might even be bisexual.

Kurt: Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.

Okay, while I'm sure that's true in some cases, I think Kurt's comments were a bit offensive.  I don't know anything about being bisexual, but I'm pretty sure not all bisexual guys date girls just to feel normal, and vice versa.  I feel like if anyone in the LGBT community has it the hardest, it's bisexuals, b/c from what I've seen, people within the community itself tend to doubt the legitimacy of bisexual people.  They are the most underrepresented people on television (esp. bisexual men) and when they are shown, very few of them are portrayed honestly to reflect the fact that bisexuals are equally attracted to both men and women and look for love in a person, not their gender.  I'm very disappointed at Kurt's insensitivity given that he understands first-hand the struggles gay people go through.  Harry is also hurt by Kurt's reaction.  Kurt might look up to him, but he's not as self-assured as Kurt is in his sexuality.  In fact, Harry points out that Kurt's judging him a similar manner to the way Karofsky judged Kurt.  Harry leaves, and Kurt's left there to evaluate what just happened.

That night, Will and Coach Beiste are getting their drink on at Rosalita's Roadhouse, where Will downs some Jägerbombs, rides the mechanical bull, and tests his power against a punching bag.  He's definitely having a good time.  He gets a warm welcome from the crowd, and cheers of encouragement when "Shannon the Canon" volunteers him to sing a song.  Will acquiesces, on the condition that Coach Beiste sing with him.  And so together they perform George Thorogood's version of "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer".

While I may not like country music, as far as drinking songs go, this one is very appropriate for a setting like a honky tonk bar.  It's also very appropriate to Will's current situation, b/c similar to the narrative, he's definitely not having the best of luck right now.  I do have hand it to Dot-Marie Jones though b/c she certainly holds her own with Matt Morrison during this number.  In fact she sounded pretty great.

Elsewhere, Kurt is over at Rachel's, helping her clean up from the party that weekend.  She knows he's really there to find out how her date with Harry went and confesses that it went really well.  The saw Love Story and dressed up as the characters.  "That's not gay at all," Kurt says.  When he asks if they kissed, Rachel says no b/c the timing probably wasn't right.  "Or the blood alcohol level," Kurt mutters.  Rachel knows Kurt has feelings for Harry and probably thinks she's crazy - she's probably right - but she can tell Harry's confused and thinks she might be doing Kurt a favor if it turns out Harry's not really gay.

Kurt: And I'm doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.
Rachel: Blaine and I have a lot in common.
Kurt: A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay.

Look Kurt, I realize you're jealous and a little hurt, but that was way harsh.  Keep this up and I'm going to have to dub you the selfish!Gleek of the week.  On an unrelated note, is that Brittany's bra behind them?  If so, things got really crazy at Rachel's party.  Anyway, Kurt says that while Harry would probably make a good shopping buddy, he and Rachel will never have chemistry.  Based on their kiss and their performance, I beg to differ.  So does Rachel.  In fact, she sees it as a challenge and is determined to kiss Harry sober to prove Kurt wrong.  During this scene, the only thing I could think of was "Challenge Accepted".  For someone who's sure that Harry is gay, Kurt looks a little worried.

After their night out, Coach Beiste escorts a very drunk Will home, making sure he gets into his apartment safely.  She asks if Will's going to be okay.  He assures her that he will be and that he just has to grade a few papers - I bet some kids are going to receive an A for the first time - and find a song for the Glee Club to sing at the assembly.  The Gleeks want to sing a Ke$ha song, but Will's not sure.  It makes drinking seem like fun.

Coach Beiste: Sometimes it is fun.
Will: Exactly.  Like tonight.  That's the most fun I've had in a really long time.  We were careful.  We didn't drive.  What's wrong with that?
Coach Beiste: Nothin'.
Will: Nothing's wrong with that!
Coach Beiste: Except we're not teenagers anymore, Will.  You know, the way I see it?  You can't just lecture kids.  I mean, we can't stop them from drinking if that's what they're going to do.  I mean the best we can do is make 'em aware of the dangers and just hope they're smart enough to make a good decision on their own.

Dot-Marie Jones is the best addition to the cast this season. Her statement is spot on.  If a teenager really wants to drink, he or she will find a way.  You can't stop them unless you keep them locked up at home like a prisoner or follow them around every second of the day.  At some point, parents simply have to trust that they've provided their kids with the proper education about the dangers of drinking and hope their kid either (a) chooses to wait or (b) drinks responsibly.  I really, really love Coach Beiste's addition to the show and, more importantly, her friendship with Will.  After Coach Beiste leaves, Will continues drinking as he grades papers, giving students As left and right.  Even those he doesn't even know.  *shakes head*  At some point, he gets out his phone and decides to drunk dial Emma.  Or does he?

The next day, Will is suffering from a major hangover.  Principal Figgins is excited about the upcoming assembly, but Will's just trying not to hurl from the stench of Figgins' cologne.  Will runs into Emma and apologizes for drunk dialing her last night.  Only he didn't.  Emma never got any messages from him.  Ruh-oh.  Will breathes a sigh of relief and leaves, only to run into Sue, who wants to commit him.  Will assures Sue that he doesn't have a drinking problem even though he's currently doing a "Corey Hart imitation".  Sue tries one last time to help Will, but he ignores her and retreats into his office.  I'm guessing that whatever happens next will not be good for Will.

In the House of Furt, Kurt is trying to teach his dad how to make a soufflé but is distracted by the situation with Harry, which makes Mr. Hummel confused b/c he thought Harry was gay.  Kurt says he thinks Harry is just experimenting, and Mr. Hummel comments Harry isn't the only one experimenting, referring to his discovery of Harry in Kurt's bed.  Kurt assures his father nothing happened - Harry was too drunk to fly drive home.  Now, Mr. Hummel is worried about Kurt drinking, but Kurt assures him that neither he nor Finn drank at Rachel's party.

Mr. Hummel tells Kurt that he needs to ask permission if he's going to have a guy stay over.  After all, Harry's a wizard and he doesn't want his house to accidentally blow up.  I'm jk.  Kurt's upset b/c his dad would never make Finn ask permission to have Puck stay over, but his dad says he would never allow a girl to sleepover in Finn's bed.  Oh, Mr. Hummel, I don't think you have to worry about that.  Instead of focusing on the fact that his dad is setting equal standards for both him and Finn, Kurt is focused on the fact that his father seems to be uncomfortable with the idea of Kurt being intimate with another guy.  The problem is, Mr. Hummel has no idea what two guys do together - watching Brokeback Mountain didn't really provide him with much insight.  Kurt apologizes for his inappropriate behavior but asks that his father educate himself so that he can talk to him about that kind of stuff like any other teen would with their parent.

It's finally time for the assembly.  Backstage, Brittany is nervous about performing.  After all, "Ke$ha's been a cultural icon for weeks" and Brittany wants to do her music justice.  They haven't rehearsed and are concerned about starting another riot.  Rachel's got the situation covered.

Rachel: Never fear, teammates.  Now, it's a Broadway tradition for nervous performers to take a shot of whiskey before going on to calm their nerves and to mask the stench of bad dental hygiene.  In that tradition, I've mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail of  what was left in my dads' liquor cabinet.  There's some brandy and vermouth and port wine and scotch in here, and also a little bit of Kool-Aid, and some crumbled up Oreos.
Santana: Oh my God, this tastes like cough syrup.
Rachel: There's also cough syrup in here.

I love that drunk!Rachel can still ramble.  Also, I'm starting to think Rachel's developed a drinking problem.  As soon as Rachel mentioned Kool-Aid though, I couldn't help but think, "Don't drink the Kool-Aid!"  Although, as nasty as Rachel's concoction sounds, when it comes to mixing drinks, sometimes odd combinations turn out really well.  My boss during college created a drink we called "Regan-ade" b/c it consisted of Gatorade, and it was awesome.  It also got you drunk really quickly.  Anyway, our Gleeks down Rachel's crazy ass concoction before Principal Figgins introduces them.  According to Principal Figgins, our Gleeks performed "Tik and also Tok by rapper Ke-dollar sign-ha", or as it's more commonly known, "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha.

HeMo did an amazing job on this number.  Similar to the earlier performance of "Blame It", I prefer this version over the original.  And, as usual, HeMo's dancing was fantastic as well.  Coach Beiste sang along, as per usual, and Principal Figgins was hilarious as he danced with his hands.  During the performance, Brittany starts to feel ill, but Rachel tells her to power through it, which she does, until she can't and ends up hurling all over Rachel.  Santana follows suit by hurling on herself.

Poor Rachel.  She gets slushied, has food smashed in her face (see Ep. 1x09 "Wheels"), egged (see Ep. 1x21 "Funk"), and now she gets thrown up on.  Some people were confused as to why the vomit was grey, but I'm guessing that was a result of the crumbled Oreos.  *Random observation: with regard to Brittana hurling, they say the couple that hurls together stays together.  I'm jk.*  As our Gleeks make their way off stage, Brittany simply says...

Brittany: Everybody drink responsibly.

Hahaha.  Oh, Brittany.  The next day, Becky and Sue take a page out of Grease - complete with mini xylophone! - to make an announcement over the PA system.  Sue recounts the horror they all saw at the assembly and blames it on "the alcoholic teen vomit fetishist, Will Schuester".  Will's not too worried...until Sue decides to play the message she received when Will accidentally drunk dialed her instead of Emma.  Ruh-oh.

Will's message: Heyyy there, sexy lady.  There's something I really, really want to say to you.  I love how you eat your lunch with your little plastic gloves and they crinkle and make the cutest sound I've ever heard in my life.  Why don't you pick up some wine coolers, and come over here, and it'll be just one night of us just gettin' crazy.  Let's just get crazy!  Let's get really crazy and roll around in the hay.  *laughs*  I was just in some hay earlier tonight, and I rode a bull, and I was thinkin' of you.

If Mr. Schue wasn't an alcoholic before, being embarrassed in front of the entire school might drive him to become one now.  It was interesting to note Emma's reaction to Will's message - she looked excited.  Remember at the end of Ep. 2x09, when I said that Emma had a look of trepidation on her face while she was hugging her new hubby Dr. Uncle Jesse, and I said there might be problems in their future?  This is that problem.

Later, our Gleeks have been summoned to Principal Figgins' office.  All of them.  Puck's worried that he'll get suspended and Mr. Schue says they'll probably all be suspended.

Santana: Oh you're one to talk.  How about you crack a Four Loko, Count Boozy Von Drunk-a-ton.

Santana might be a bitch, but she comes up with some of the best names ever.  Principal Figgins enters and our Gleeks await their fate, only to discover that Principal Figgins wants to thank them.  He thinks that their liquid projectiles were special effects and since the assembly no one has come to school drunk.  Basically the Gleeks scared the shit out of everyone.  To thank them for their effort, they receive froyo coupons, and Mr. Schue receives Principal Figgins' prayers.  Back in the choir room, our Gleeks reflect on the events of the past week.

Brittany: I'm torn.  A part of me never wants to drink again, because it made me so sick, but if it weren't for drinking, the assembly would've been a disaster.

Rachel has sworn of alcohol, after discovering it no longer has the same appeal since she was thrown up on.  Mr. Schue expresses his disappointment in our Gleeks for (a) performing while intoxicated, (b) drinking at school, and (c) drinking period since they're underage.  That's three for you, DYF!  Quinn thinks, "That's a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now," which makes Brittany think, "That is so racist."  Hahaha.  Mr. Schue agrees with Quinn and pledges to stop drinking altogether.

Santana: But if you don't drink, what will you have to live for?
Mr. Schue: I have plenty in my life without beer.
Mercedes: Like what, exactly?

Poor Mr. Schue can't catch a break.  He reiterates that he's going to stop drinking and he hope the Gleeks will too.  When Tina points out how unrealistic that is, Mr. Schue says he's simply going to ask them to refrain from drinking until after Nationals.  Wait.  You mean Regionals, right?  Seriously, is Rachel the only person who remembers they have to win Regionals to get to Nationals?  Anyway, Mr. Schue wants our Gleeks to think of it like they're "prize fighters getting ready for a big heavyweight bout".  He even drew up pledges for them to sign, stating that they won't drink.  When Puck questions what will happen if they fall of the wagon, Mr. Schue directs them to his number, which he included on the form.  If they slip up, he wants them to call him and he'll come pick them up.  Sam seems overly excited to have Mr. Schue's number.  Finn wants to know what will happen after they win Nationals.  Mr. Schue simply replies that he'll buy the sparkling cider.

IMO, Mr. Schue's never been cooler than in this scene.  His actions remind me of my high school math teacher, who did something similar with the kids in my high school.  Her phone number was always included on her syllabus, and whenever homecoming, prom, or another school dance came around, she always told us that if we were going to drink, we could call her to come pick us up.  I thought that was super cool.

We conclude the episode at The Lima Bean, where Kurt and Rachel are waiting for Harry to arrive so Rachel can kiss him.  Kurt has a bad feeling about the situation and redeems himself from his earlier comments when he says he doesn't want Rachel to get hurt.

Rachel: Who cares about you, buddy.  I might get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally and, in the future, give me vaguely Eurasian-looking children.

Oh, Rachel Berry.  Harry enters and with Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move" playing in the background, she walks straight up to Harry and plants one on him.  When they pull back, Harry says, "Huh.  Yep.  I'm gay.  100% gay."  In the background, I'm pretty sure Kurt is breathing a huge sigh of relief.  Harry thanks Rachel and asks her to hold his place in line while he goes to the bathroom.  Kurt comes up to Rachel, expecting to comfort her.  Instead...

Rachel: Are you kidding?  That was amazing!  I am speechless.  I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay.  That is songwriting gold!

Ummm...I'm not sure you were in an actual relationship with Harry Potter, Rachel, but if it will help your songwriting, you keep thinking that.  Rachel kisses Kurt on the cheek before taking off to do some composing, leaving Kurt speechless, and bringing us to the end of the episode.

Parting Thoughts: In the last Glee-cap, I mentioned that Glee seems to have hit it's stride with these past few episodes, and they certainly continue with that momentum in this episode.  The Parent's Television Council named this episode the "Worst TV Show of the Week", which automatically makes it a winner in my book.  I'm jk...kinda.  This is the third time an episode has been given this honor by the PTC (the other two were Ep. 1x02 "Showmance" and Ep. 2x02 "Britney/Brittany").  Glee gained the honor this time b/c of its "mixed messaging and sexual content".  Specifically, the PTC felt that this episode "spent most of the time glamorizing binge drinking before offering a forced, phony, harm-reduction solution".

I'll admit that the PTC's arguments aren't completely without merit.  Did this episode glamorize binge drinking?  Yes.  Did they offer up a "forced, phony, harm-reduction solution"?  Yes.  However, I'm not sure what kind of consequences the PTC expected there to be.  This is Glee, so no one was going to die.  Okay, perhaps they should have been suspended, but when you consider that they scared the student body away from drinking, it's understandable why they might get a pass for their actions.  Brittany's statements about being torn sum up that situation perfectly IMO.  If they didn't get drunk, it's more likely than not that the assembly would've bombed and there would still be drunk students roaming the halls.  However, it's extremely unfortunate that they had to be drunk themselves to get that message across.

Additionally, IMO Glee didn't send a mixed message.  To me the message was clear: no matter how much we try to educate teens on the dangers of alcohol, some will inevitability get drunk.  As I stated earlier, the best one can hope is that kids will make the right decision and choose not to drink.  And if they do decide to drink, then we hope that they're responsible enough to have a designated driver, or call someone.  I felt that Glee actually went a little above and beyond in their message by including that final scene between Mr. Schue and the Gleeks.  Most PSA episodes about drinking only talk about the dangers of it or show the dangers of it.  I don't recall ever seeing an episode where the adult figure hands out his or her own personal phone number to the kids in case they get too drunk to drive.  That action does not mean you endorse teen drinking.  It simply means, you want to ensure that if a teenager makes the decision to drink, they (and the public at large) will remain safe.  It's like having a backup plan.  I call that responsible parenting.

The fact of the matter is, it may have been a bit of a cop-out for our Gleeks to walk away unscathed, but it was also realistic.  Sometimes when kids drink, they get lucky and nothing happens.  No accidents, no deaths, no consequences.  That luck is what prompts them to do it again.  They figure that if they didn't get caught the first time, they won't get caught the second, or the third.  Our Gleeks got lucky this time, but as Mr. Schue pointed out he didn't want anyone to get hurt in the future, so he tried to take a preventive measure by giving them pledge forms.  Their next drunken escapade could result in a suspension, or cost them a shot at Nationals.  Thus, the fact that their decision to drink could affect something they want so badly is probably what helped motivate them to agree to sign the pledge forms.

Honestly though, all arguments regarding the message of this episode aside, one thing that helped make this episode a success IMO was the music.  And I'm not talking about the songs the cast performed.  I'm talking about the other songs used in this episode - the songs by Far*East Movement, Josie Cotton, Carole King and Jerrod Niemann.  One of the things I love about music is it's ability to enhance a scene.  Glee generally takes a different approach than most tv shows b/c it tries to incorporate its music directly into the storyline.  But during S1, esp. during the F13, they also incorporated other songs as background music to help enhance the scenes.  The pilot episode is one of the best examples.  They've dabbled a bit with background music this season, but none on a level like the pilot until now.  Each piece perfectly accented the scene it accompanied.  "Like a G6" is one of the hottest partying songs around right now, and therefore, very apropos for the party scenes.  "Johnny Are You Queer" was the perfect lead-in to Rachel and Harry's kiss, which would delve further into the topic of Harry's sexuality.  "So Far Away" really helped set the mood as Rachel worked up the courage to call Harry and ask him out on a date.  Jerrod Niemann's "How Can I Be Thirsty" was the perfect accompaniment to the initial shots that showed Will and Coach Beiste having a good time at Rosalita's.  Finally, "I Can Feel the Earth Move" really captured everything about that final scene - Harry's realization that he's gay, as well as Rachel's new inspiration for songwriting.  I don't think Glee needs to do this with every episode - sometimes less is more - but clearly it doesn't hurt when they do it once in a while.  As long as they do it well, which, IMO, they definitely did in this episode.



( 1 comment — Tell Me How You Really Feel )
Mar. 14th, 2011 06:43 am (UTC)
cool recap
it was a very funny episode and i think they've done a great job with teenage drinking
( 1 comment — Tell Me How You Really Feel )

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